This is what it feels like to be me!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEmZ8clcEUs

My Letter

Got my letter to see Dr Paul oh my thats a little bit of weight off my mind, i should be happy but i am all happied out:(

Low

I am so low today i want to sleep my life away and thats all.

Better news

Better news today well it was yesterday afternoon really, D rang me and i have to disregard the letter i got to see the Dr that i didnt want to see he is referring me to see the Dr i do so thats good news for me, this morning Janet rang from the clinic and my name is down for a T so now thats in place i just have to wait for a slot which i am okay with just hope i like the next one as much as i liked Amanda,

I still feel very anxious today it will probably take a few days before that wears off unfortunately,

On another note its Michaels 23rd birthday today huh cant believe my baby is 23 i text him this morning as hes not living at home for the next few weeks hes at auntie Lynnes while shes in hospital hes looking after house and kitty so that leaves Lynne time to get well and not worry,

Feeling bad today

I am so bad
today i feel like i am caving in on myself, mixed thoughts racing around in my head, i hate when this happens i am having suicidal thoughts again one minute i want to die the next i dont i hate this, why me why has this got to happen to my brain i feel as though i cant tell dh as he goes mad shouting off about whatever it is i have said first, i wish he was a little calmer towards me, he gets afraid i think thats why he shouts, that doesnt make me feel any better just makes me cry more and feel worse.

I have got to get in touch with Darren tomorrow to cancel my appointment with the dr i do not want to see and try and get in with the one i do.

Ashley and Lewis with baby belly

Ashley Lewis and baby belly how beautiful is this photo. he just walked forward to kiss his mummy's belly
Ashley is 22 weeks here.

My poor baby,

My poor baby went to the vets this this morning he's had all his teeth out apart from two:(

so he cant eat anything only soft things to start with, so i am cooking a piece of salmon for his dinner later so hopefully he will enjoy it.

He's snoring his little head off on my knee now, bless!

Moaning Monday

The offending Child!!!!
Been to the gym this morning at 7.30am not slept hardly at all last night must need the seroquel upping i think:(

Been to dentist to pay the bill before he dragged the crown right out of my mouth went last week but they were closed anyway its done now, called off at the supermarket for some milk nipped to Ashleys then pegged the washing out,

Now i want to know so if anyone could tell me i would be ever so grateful How on earth can one almost 23 year old lad wear seven T shirts in one day ????? I am baffled its not the washing i object to but the damned ironing i hate ironing

On another note my new book came today Why Me? by Tony Hurley going to wash the kitchen floor then settle down and try and read this book its ages since i read i just havent had the patience at all so i am going to give it a go this afternoon.